Tuesday, May 3, 2011

It's Dalton not Walton. John Dalton.

For many years I was a fan of comedian Tommy Tiernan. I still am to a degree but in recent times the man who stands up for a living, the man who has offended more Irish people than any other 'funny man' on the circuit has tended to use a lot of foul language in his routine. Unnecessary language in my opinion. Why? That's what I'd ask him if I happened to be standing behind him in the queue in, let's say, Supermac's on Westmoreland Street.

My initial thinking was that it was language the Navan native used everyday so it made no odds to him to bring it on stage. However, not everyone is comfortable with 'potty talk' or 'the language of the snooker hall' as my parents used to refer to it. In hindsight I don't blame them.

So why use it? Why would Tommy Tiernan use it?


I would like to think I have an active imagination but it is not an imagination at all when compared to Tiernan's. People could be made pay to see inside his head. So why does Tiernan fall back on words that, after using them, would have your elders ordering you to go away and wash your mouth out with soap and water. After much thought I have come to the conclusion that he has run out of material. Run out of humorous anecdotes. Gone to the comedy well one too many times.

I don't know John Dalton personally. He could be the biggest 'funny man' in the Kilkenny dressing room. Outside of Cody that is. I know he is from Carrickshock. I know he is a defender and a tough one at that. Last Sunday the once unbeatable, unmistakable and untouchable Cats used their own kind of 'potty talk' on the sunsplashed sod at GAA headquarters. Dalton was the MC for the afternoon.

Three incidents besmirched what was a fantastic performance by the hurlers from the capital. The capital where the small ball is slowly but surely edging its way into the psyche of Liffey folk.

First up was former Hurler of the Year Eoin Larkin's dismissal on 25 minutes for an off-the-ball strike on Dublin wing-forward Conor McCormack.

On the stroke of half-time McCormack was again at the centre of things. After finishing to the net just after referee Michael Wadding had blown the whistle to signify the interval, McCormack rubbed off Dalton. He paid the price.

Dalton planted his hurl, with some considerable force, into McCormack's ribs before kicking him on the ground as spit hurled, excused the pun, from his mouth. Dalton's actions went unpunished on the day. His fate is yet unknown.

The final incident involved Danesfort's Richie Hogan and, yes, you guessed it, McCormack. Hogan could also come under the microscope for his reaction to some close Dublin attention - he caught Joey Boland with a flailing arm in the build-up to Eddie Brennan's 10th minute goal.

Two questions need to be asked? One serious one and one less serious.

Seriously. Are the actions of the Kilkenny players and in particular Dalton a sign that they are a team on the wane?

Less seriously. How big is Conor McCormack's mouth?

Let's address Dalton first. Kilkenny have always had defenders that left you in no doubt you'd been in a match. Corner-back is a tough position to play if you're not tough yourself. Though more widely know as a wing-back, I played corner-back myself and was often caught out by nippy corner-forwards. I jest.

Dalton is no angel. He's not John Walton. The man who called Walton's Mountain his home. Dalton's place of origin is Carrickshock. No mountains in sight. His barbaric behaviour on Sunday is not acceptable on any pitch. Let alone in Croke Park. The venomous nature of his altercation with McCormack was disgusting and deserves to be punished. Whether or not Cody, a la Arsenal boss Arsene Wenger, saw the incident is irrelevant. Cody is not going to come out and criticise his players when Kilkenny, now more than ever, need to stick together.

Let's not fool ourselves. Such behaviour is not alien to the GAA and I would guess it is not alien to not only Kilkenny defenders but to defenders who make it their business to stop scores at the source. Dalton just went too far.

For many years the Kilkenny back six, much to the annoyance of teams around the country, have sailed close to the wind with their discipline. By and large they've gone unpunished. This is all set to change now in my opinion.

Dalton's foolish actions will focus the microscope on the Kilkenny rearguard for the rest of the year. If they react as Dalton did then it will be a short championship for the men from the Marble City. They ARE a team on the wane no matter what anyone says and Sunday's events have made outfits such as Tipperary, who probably already know it, Galway and to a lesser extent Cork and Waterford stand up and take note.

I nearly forgot about McCormack's mouth. How big is it? As big as any forwards I'd venture. He may have riled up the Kilkenny defenders but it was worth it. And how.

I started off talking about comedy and I'll finish on the same note. Sunday was no joke as Dublin finally stood up and were counted.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Good to see Dalton got what was coming to him, although I would have thought three months would have been more appropriate.